he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
