he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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