Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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