im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
