Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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