hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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