You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
