if only i could text you this smell
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize