More tranny stories later!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A+ Viking dick
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
