Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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