Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
