i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
