His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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