HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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