Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
NoShamevember. You game?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
