I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
