Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
