i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
