forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
