Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Never joke about your clitoris.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
