Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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