Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bring me that man meat
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
