i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize