Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
