erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
