Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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