do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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