Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
