So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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