He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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