jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
