Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize