He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
