try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
