You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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