You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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