Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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