dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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