oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
