i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize