P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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