Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
