Got a toothbrush?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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