discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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