it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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