trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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