I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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