There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
