i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
