Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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