whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
