he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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