Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize