I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
