Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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