hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
