4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
