you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
