I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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