i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize