lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
