Yo dont text me then not text me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
